Robin Wiliams Thoughts on Women

"A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They would make a weapon that would make you feel bad for a while."
Robin Williams

We lost a great comedian when this man passed on. I'm sure that he is keeping everyone in heaven... with a permanent grin on their faces!!

Today's Funny Quote by Lily Tomlin

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be
thinking up something else.
 Lily Tomlin

Now that is scary isn't it ;)

Just a quick little grin

 Who comes up with these lol... sounds like something that my son would have come up with when he was little.

After three days, fish and guests stink!
John Lyly

I'm Talking To My Husband Right Now!!

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
Helen Rowland

And this quote is going into one of his Christmas presents.   I think that he has given up anyway lol!

photo: morguefile

Today's Funny Quote About Finding the Perfect Husband

 If you have a daughter... have you made your husband requirement list for her?

My parents want me to get married. They don't care who anymore as long as he doesn't have a pierced ear, that's all they care about. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

A Funny Quote by Ted Allan

The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up.

Ted Allan

Funny Santa Claus Quotes

One of the problems we have in this country is that too many adults believe in Santa Claus, and too many children don't. Lee Lauer

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. Robert Paul

If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus. Jack Handy

"If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus." Jack Handy

Nobody shoots at Santa Claus. Samuel Butler

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know... the birth of Santa." Bart Simpson

A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset. James Gould

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. Shirley Temple

You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. Robert Paul

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? Arlo Guthrie

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. Bernard Manning

A Funny Quote for a Saturday Morning

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.” Groucho Marks

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.   Groucho Marks

Friends are like melons. You may try fifty before you find a good one. Unknown


Women make me happy. Once accepting that i will never be able to understand them makes me more happier.

Alcohol does not solve any problems, but neither does
milk.
John Wayne

My parents want me to get married. They don't care who anymore as long as he doesn't have a pierced ear, that's all they care about. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

Morning Quote that is mean but still funny lol...

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill

If you’re going through hell keep going. 
Winston Churchill

I have read so many amazing quotes by this man! Can you imagine the conversation over breakfast. You would definitely have to stay on your toes lol...