Quotes That Will Cheer You Up

Phyllis Diller research.Phyllis Diller research. (Photo credit: Jeff Tidwell)

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” - Unknown

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." Unknown

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. - Will Rogers

Mint smells like a sweet stink. My 4 year old daughter.

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson